British Red Cross First Aid Course April 2010

Garry Green arranged a first aid training course with the British Red Cross at their centre in Coventry. The session, the first of its kind, was specifically designed for bikers and primarily dealt with the care & treatment of biking casualties. Amongst the many useful things we learnt, possibly the most valuable was the correct method of removing a crash helmet from a casualty - not an easy task. The perceived wisdom that a crash helmet should never be removed is incorrect, if the casualty has a blocked airway or is not breathing, removal is essential. There were a number of practical exercises in-between classroom  sessions and finally there was the inevitable fracture clinic, where we bandaged each other up and it became obvious that bondage was not a new skill to certain members of the group or perhaps they had just misheard the word bandage. In all, a really worthwhile day that was not without its lighter moments but where momentum was maintained without information overload producing stifled yawns. Thoroughly recommended for anyone who wants to know what to do in an emergency.

The elite group of eight diligent trainees from CWAM were outside, enjoying the spring sunshine whilst intently listening to Oliver, the Red Cross trainer. I noticed Gary Green leave my side and move into the shade and fleetingly thought that I probably should have had a shower after all that morning but then turned my attention back to the matter in hand which was,  ‘What are the symptoms of shock?’ 

We’d rattled off quite a few ideas and had, appropriately as it turned out, just come up with a weak pulse and shallow breathing. Out of the corner of my eye I was aware that Gary Green was collapsing onto the tarmac. When I say collapsing, I don’t mean crumpling in an untidy heap, I mean, stiff as a board, poleaxed, splat! There was a clatter followed by resounding clunk. The clatter was his boots and the clunk, his closely shorn head connecting with a very hard and gritty surface.

Cynic that I am, I presumed that as Gary had arranged the training day, he was in collusion with Oliver and was role-playing, so I pretended ignorance. I wasn’t going to fall for any amateur theatricals but at the back of my mind lurked the thought that wasn’t particularly amateurish, any professional stuntman would have been proud of it. By now other people were staring at Gary’s prostrate form. Fortunately, having already completed half a days training we were all experts and spent some minutes discussing whether it was just a minor trauma or if it fell into a possible spinal injury category. Luckily Oliver, who is a little more practiced than us, took charge whilst we peered down at the horizontal carcass.  Keith was directed to hold his head whilst John held his feet up in the air to encourage the bloodflow not only to Gary’s brain but also to the hole in the back of his head!

Gary eventually joined the land of the living and after a considerable time playing the sympathy card and lapping up the attention, deigned to totter off to be treated by Oliver’s two nubile assistants. Keith, horrified that Gary's brains had leaked all over his hands, staggered up from his kneeling position and like a latterday Lady Macbeth, exited stage right in search of the washroom muttering the modern equivalent of "what, will these hands ne're be clean?"

It was testament to the ethos of good sportsmanship, fair play and concern for others promoted by CWAM, that at no time did anyone feel it necessary to resort to levity or make flippant remarks at Gary’s expense. I hope everyone will continue to follow this fine example of restraint and decorum and spare Gary’s embarrassment.

If there’s another course, don’t forget to book your place early, unfortunately real emergencies cannot be guaranteed every time.