CWAM - The fourth emergency service.
 

 

 

 To find yourself unexpectedly and unceremoniously dumped on the tarmac is not only disorientating but also a little annoying. When accompanied by a searing pain (you're not quite sure precisely where) and your right foot trapped under the full weight of your bike, it's really annoying. When you're just three minutes into a mock test, it is not only extraordinarily annoying, it is humiliating, embarrassing and a tank-bag full of similarly shaming adjectives.

For a moment I lay there in complete denial. This can't have happened today of all days. My last accident had been in 1967 when, in a fit of youthful over-exuberance, I'd piled an MG Midget in to brick wall. The last time I had been injured in the proper sense of the word, was a good 40 years ago, when having unblocked a grass harrow, I'd carelessly dropped it so that one of the tines pierced my boot but even then I was able to extricate myself, unhitch and drive the tractor back to the farm, albeit with a boot rapidly filling with blood. I just don't do accidents but there I was, a pathetic heap of immobile, recumbent flesh, inwardly cursing and outwardly providing a pitiful spectacle for passing motorists. 

You may think that this was an unlucky day for me but no such thing because the experts from CWAM were on hand. Gary Green who was following me took immediate charge of the situation. He parked his bike across the road to warn other road users and protect me whilst he lifted the bike off my leg and asked a passer-by to phone the emergency services. Whilst having my head cradled in his lap (which was a strangely relaxing experience at the time) the two Ians tootled up and took care of my slightly battered bike. As accidents go it could hardly have been improved upon from the participant's point of view thanks to their sterling efforts, kindness and generosity.

What have I learnt?

  • A broken collar bone is quite painful. 
  • Diesel on the road is not always visible.
  • Never use the mobile phone pocket in a Hein Gericke jacket, it is situated such that any impact results in an agonizing imprint on your lower ribs truly proving that the future is Orange - shortly after the black and blue fades.
  • Bikers are fairly low in the sympathy stakes. I've suffered so many pitying looks, knowing shakes of head and raising of eyes heavenwards that suggested I'd got little more than I deserved that I now answer that I've had a bit of a fall, omitting the fact that it was at thirty miles an hour from a Honda.
  • If you must part company from your bike do it near the Jaguar Club on a check ride morning. CWAM offers a more comprehensive and friendly service than the AA and St John's Ambulance combined.
A big thank you to those who sorted me out and sent messages.

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