Beer 'n' Skittles Oct 2nd 2009

There are those of limited experience who believe that football is ‘the beautiful game’, had they been at the Jaguar Club on Friday night they would have realised how mistaken they are. At ten past eight, a select group of CWAMs and friends bore witness to the overwhelming fact that Skittles has an exquisite attraction that captivates both player and spectator alike. The poetic elegance of the bowler as he/she steps up to the mark, the anticipation as the ball is loosed, the rumble as it rolls down the alley to cascade into a chaotic clatter as it finally scatters its targets. Such a delicate balance of poetry and brutality makes this a unique pastime. Good manners and camaraderie abound, the total absence of shirt tugging, barging, diving or unseemly victory celebrations is a blessed relief. There can surely be no other sport where impartiality is so assured that the umpire/scorer is also allowed to play!

Seven teams of six battled it out over three rounds, to say that it was a closely fought contest could be overstating things as it seems unlikely that anyone had any notion of the scores until Simon announced the results at the end. The final placing being (in reverse order) 6,5,4,7,1,3 with team 2 finally emerging as winners. Entry money from the Sudden Death knock out competition will be donated to the air ambulance, it may only be enough to keep the helicopter in the air for a few minutes but in serious situations a few minutes can make all the difference.

Congratulations and thanks to Simon for organising, umpiring, scoring and managing the evening with such aplomb and to vice chairman Keith for presenting the prizes.

The prize for top scoring male went to a cheerful Chris Frewin who with a magnificent score of 28 was a model of consistency and lethal accuracy.

Top Scoring lady was Claire Thorley whose winning smile obviously belies a killer instinct.

The well deserved winners (that's what they said) of the team event, Ron Shilton, Paul Lewis, Chris Frewin, Lewis Frewin, Vyrnwy Evans and Maxine McKnight

When the Israelites opposed the Philistines in the Valley of Elah and David stepped forward to face Goliath with only a single stone in his sling,  the tension could hardly have been any  greater than when Trevor prepared to fire the final ball at a solitary skittle. In true heroic fashion the skittle crashed to the floor and a new champion was born to claim the Sudden Death prize of a bottle of Scotch.

Some took it more seriously than others. The McKnights, being on opposing teams abstained from all physical contact during the contest, a large black bag clearly marking the boundary.

Paul wears a resigned expression as he is expertly coached by son Simon.

The younger skittlers (Chloe, Faye, Heather, Hannah, Jessica, Abigail and Jessica - sorry you're probably in the wrong order) often showed their elders how the game should be played and their happy enthusiasm earned them well deserved prizes. Any one of them could have thrashed the old codger below.

A fine example of how to accept defeat gracefully. Nick Lilley smiles knowing that a cabbage is more beneficial to his liver than a bottle of wine, perhaps it was not by chance that he consistently managed to find the gap between all those bits of wood. 

Footnote

Finally to put paid to all the speculation about the origins and siblings of Janice Long (that well known DJ that few people had heard of) - she was born in Liverpool not Scotland and she is the sister of Keith Chegwin not Lulu.